Seven Weeks In

 


Today, during my at-home physical therapy exercises, I cried.

I am seven weeks post knee replacement surgery, and while I’ve made a lot of progress, moments like today remind me that healing isn’t always linear.

For over seven years, yoga has been part of my life. It’s been my place of strength, calm, and connection. I look forward to my practices, especially the open and welcoming people, and the grounding that comes with it.

This morning, I was doing heel pulls, (slipping my foot into a yoga strap and pulling my leg toward me). With a good knee, it’s easy and something I never gave a second thought to before. With a recovering knee, it’s everyone’s least favorite exercise.

As I pulled as far as I could and held for ten seconds, I heard my physical therapist’s voice, “When you pull your knee toward you and it hurts, breathe out.”

So I did and in that moment, my mind drifted to yoga and to the poses I love. Warrior I and Warrior II, poses that once took time, patience, and practice to learn.

And suddenly, I wondered…

What if I can’t do them again?

That’s when the tears came. (Of course, the heel pull didn’t help either).

After I finished my exercises, I walked to the mirror and tried.

It was awkward and not as deep. It certainly wasn’t graceful.

But there they were.

I even tried a Downward Facing Dog.

Tomorrow, I’ll try again. Who knows, maybe I’ll go a tiny bit deeper.

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