The Lost Season

 


Today my yoga intention was simple: Let it go.

Let go of the physical pain.
Let go of trying so hard to get my book noticed.
Let go of the pressure I place on myself.

Just let it go. Let it be.

Of course, that's easier said than done.

My knee replacement is still healing and yoga looks different to me now. Some poses work beautifully with modifications. Others don't. Sometimes I can move with confidence and other times I feel stiff, awkward, or frustrated.

Healing is humbling.

There are moments when I still expect my body to behave the way it used to. Then a simple movement reminds me that I’m nowhere near healed.

I also realize now how much chronic pain affects more than the body.

Pain narrows your world little by little without you noticing.
It changes your energy, your patience, your confidence, your social life, even your sense of self. Over time, without realizing it, you can begin to organize your life around what hurts.

Maybe that's part of why this season has felt so heavy. My husband calls it “The Lost Season”.

Today, my yoga practice was never about doing the pose perfectly.

It was about listening.
Adjusting.
Breathing through discomfort.
Trying again.
Accepting what is true today instead of fighting it.

As I drove home after class this morning, I realized how much this applies outside the yoga mat too.

Sometimes life asks us to loosen our grip.
On pain.
On disappointment.
On expectations for how things “should” be.

Not because those things don’t matter.
But because carrying them too tightly becomes exhausting.

So today I practiced letting go.

Not forever or all at once.

Just for today. One breath. One moment at a time.

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